Dear Friends, I wish it felt like days, But it’s been months. I don’t bother to look over my shoulder as much, Not even a mirage to brighten my own spirits up. It makes makes no sense, But I’m desperate to connect, To find feeling in reverie. I reach for my heart as pounds against my chest. Still beating so aggressively. And I would fall in love With the idea that I could have a home, (Swear to me this isn’t the end.) But when I turn my back, I’d find myself alone. I tried to save it, I tried to say it before it was too late, The words, they couldn’t find me As fast as your feet could turn the other way. These nights couldn’t get any colder, By now you would think I’d find some closure. Take what you want, fuck what I need, In this life I’ve learned nothing is free. Take what you want, fuck what I need. What a ghost town Staten Island has become, Nobody’s fault but mine, I can’t trace anyone. And I’m kicking rocks all the way home as the sun spreads my shadow thin, I’m taking all the time you guys have given me to think. I am afraid I’ll never be happy with what I have, Because I really don’t know what I want, Or where I stand, I don’t even know who I am. Outline my body in chalk, I’ll burn in Hell, I hope to see you soon. The tremble in my voice speaks truth. When glory fades, we grab quickly to whatever roots we can still hold onto, At the end of the day, everyone, fucking walks away

Don't stop breathing, The flood of liquid truth is just setting in, And it's colder than before. I lost myself in waste and weakness, Bleeding all my hopes in sequence. Anxiety's a frequent keepsake for the sleepless, I used to want to beat this. I used to want to beat this, And face all my fucking demons, But honestly, I mean it: I think I fucking need this. And I was winter and you were autumn, So beautiful with your changing leaves. Always pushing and pulling you down in pursuit of progress. (Shut your fucking mouth and change it.) We're always finding holes in something, We're never content until we're discontent. We're never content until we disconnect. Maybe, it was something I said, If I was less imperfect or not better off dead, If I was more important, and not so hard to believe, If I wasn't breaking mirrors with my heart on my sleeve. If I didn't only speak in fucking apologies, Disappointment wouldn't be the only product of me. If I could save our love or just persuade you to stay, I wouldn't have to face the fact: I fucking made us this way. (Time wasted away on you like bricks where you stand.) And I was the sunlight behind your curtain. And I was the sunlight behind your curtain, Begging to be freed. I am an anchor, of the ocean I drink. You're still floating on, and I can only sink. I've fed my lungs to open waters, I cannot swim and I won't bother. I put my soul into this life, And now it seems I've wasted my time. I used to feel alive, And now I live the fucking lie. (Make it stop!) I'm almost done breathing, make it stop! I'm almost done breathing, but I'm swearing at the sun, Make it stop! I've fed my lungs to open waters, I cannot swim and I won't bother. (I'm almost done.)